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He was acting like a ... like she was just a piece of meat or something and it was pissing her off. She wanted romance, but all he wanted was for her to get naked. She'd be willing to talk about it with Aunt Penny, because she admired the way Aunt Penny was always in charge, especially of the men around her. But she could not, of course, mention all this to her mother. And the idea of her brother finding out was just out of the question. She knew what he'd do, and Tommy would just beat the stuffings out of him when he tried to do it."Uh, it's just difficult right now I guess." she said lamely. The two women looked at each other, hearing in Megan's voice many things Megan didn't know she was saying, and that they remembered going through themselves. They knew instinctively that it was boy trouble. Penny reached out and touched Valerie on the wrist. Valerie, understanding, nodded.Valerie acted like nothing was really wrong. "Well, perhaps you and your Aunt can talk about it later. You. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the.
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